so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
