there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my shit smells like andre
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I am mentally ready for anal.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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