before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Hippo gnu deer
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
