I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
