my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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