I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize