How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
