i just wanna soil my oats bro
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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