remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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