Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize