WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
