The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Drake has all the answers
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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