the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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