She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
