i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i believe in u and ur pee
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
