I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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