I love black thongs
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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