I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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