you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
