FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize