you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
