hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
