ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize