I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
