Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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