I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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