If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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