Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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