Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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