I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize