it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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