You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Terrible idea I love it
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize