Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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