I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
