hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
