yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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