shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize