Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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