This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
