Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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