genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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