wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize