boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
