wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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