I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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