so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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