Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
