I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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