one might say we're banned from that church
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
