After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
