Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
