please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
How does one acquire holy water?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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