He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
