Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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