I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
