I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
