the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
