And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
