he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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