omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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