toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
