My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
it's great music for shaving your balls
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
