I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize