So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
