I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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