STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
