..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
