I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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