What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
