if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
