Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
