I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
