She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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