I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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