Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
