There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
